I was sitting in my living room watching Gossip Girls on Hulu while scoffing down three Healthy Choice macaroni TV dinners – I needed to lose twenty pounds – when my bulldog, Penny, jumped up on the couch. She was soaking wet. 
“What happened?” I asked. 

She just looked at me and burped.

“What do you mean the washing machine overflowed?”

I paused my show and went into the laundry room with Penny in tow. The floor was completely flooded. My cat, Tripper, was stuck in his litter box, floating in my new indoor pool. Penny sat at the waters edge, wagging her stump of a tail, knowing his feline adversary was hers for the taking. What was I to do? I'm an unemployed writer.  I can’t afford a new machine, so I reached out to my boys. 

“There’s a used appliance store next to my van,” D.R. Leo said. I had to remind him that a junkyard is not a store. 
 
“What about Craigslist?,” Remer said. I questioned Remer about this Craigslist. “It’s a fabulous website where people get things cheap.” 


I go to the site and I am amazed. So many links to chose from, but one catches my eye, PERSONALS.
I forget about my search for a new washer and investigate.  There are women seeking men, and men seeking women – there is even a link for men seeking men – and casual encounters. I couldn’t resist.

As I combed the ads of people searching for that special connection, I noticed a new language of abbreviation. There were acronyms with no definitions.  I did what any good journalist would do and deciphered the ciphers.  Here are the deciphers of my top five personal ads.

1.      BBW  ISO  BBC for a  BD: This is all common sense stuff.  Better Business Writer In Search Of a Bible Baptist College for a Business Degree. I applaud this person for wanting to better themselves at a college of faith.

2.      WC  ISO  BSM  for a  FWB: This one was easy.  A Working Couple In Search Of a Body Style Molding for a Fleetwood Brougham – that’s and old style Cadillac. Nice, right!

3.      BBW ISO for NSA: Better Business Writer In Search Of a Native Speaking Arab.  Yes, I thought the same thing. These adds are filled with writers.

4.      TS needs WS, LTR:  For this one decipher, I had to ask a friend of mine who just returned from Iraq.  Tactical Sergeant needs Weapons Specification on Light Tactical Rifle. Even when they are home, our men and women are still training to keep our country safe.   

5.      WE  GM looking for a BBC connection: Another one that took some digging, but here it is.  Women’s Entertainment Global Media looking for a British Broadcasting Company connection.

I am sure the first time you looked at Craigslist Personals Section, you thought it was all about people wanting to hook-up.  Women trying to sell their bodies for money, and horny men promising anything for a meet and…greet? But let me assure you, CPS is all about connecting people who just want some PC for the LT or ST.  It’s all about coming together.  

Now, about that washer.

~ J.S. 
 


Comments

D.R. Leo's
07/05/2013 8:43pm

Jon completely made up the washer part of the story to justify his trolling of craig's list personals.

Reply
07/05/2013 9:17pm

The TV dinners is true, though. He's trying different ones until the pounds gained turns to pounds lost. He's still at +25.

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Shane Remer
07/05/2013 9:24pm

He also made up the part about watching Gossip Girls on Hulu. He owns the whole series.

Reply
07/05/2013 9:15pm

You had me at "A Working Couple In Search Of a Body Style Molding for a Fleetwood Brougham." On wheels or not, I'm freaking rolling over here.

Reply
07/05/2013 9:20pm

I always wondered what those acronyms meant. Thank you. I could actually use a Native Speaking Arab. Do you still have that number?

Reply
07/05/2013 9:22pm

I must remember not to eat while I read your blog. Laughed out loud on "Better Business Writer In Search Of a Bible Baptist College for a Business Degree" and almost choked on my taco.

Reply



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